I dont talk to people much because when I talk I feel like im saying the wrong words.  I dont like doing most things because I usely dont do it right.I havent made a real new friend in years. I dont feel like myself near my brother and sister, around them I feel like a little child that cant do anything right and I can throught them pretending to be nice and I know they dont care at all.  I stay in my room all day because I dont have anywhere to go and no one to go to.  I lie to myself and…

I figured the best place to share my topic would be here in this community.  I received a rather sad, yet exonerating phone call from my mom the other day...

We're not very close... not only do I live in another state but I don't call often since I feel that I have nothing positive to say to her... Not to mention, she always wants to "FIX" me when I'm depressed.

I have been living with clinical depression for YEARS.  She always wants to tell me what to do or how to not…

Well it is just another day for me.  I get so tired of sitting around all the time.  But since I can't drive anymore, or work anymore, what can I do.  I am 32 years old and when I was  28 I had a stroke and found out I had a autoimmune blood disorder that had never been diagnosed.  Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome....what the heck is that.  Well is still don't know a hundred percent.  All I do know is I hurt all the time.  I have so many days when I just can't even get out of bed.  But I…

Ok so i though i would snoop around and try to find out more info on julian but it's alot harder then it looks!

so i know about canvas and mothers anthem

but i would like to know more :)

so if anyone knows anything fill me in! :D

I have two GA tickets I need to sell. Love seeing Blue,but cant make this one. 

So, here I am in Denton, Texas, sitting in front of my computer, feeling super depressed. Don't know why. Usually my meds help me manage my mood, but today has been a blue day. My depression seeped in through cracks I didn't even know I had in my emotional wall, and I feel such a sense of heaviness. So, what do I do on a day when I'm feeling blue? Listen to Blue October, of course! Somehow Justin's words and emotions cut through my fog of depression that numbs me, and I feel something, even…

Thanks

I feel so guilty. I wrote my ex a Eulogy! He is in prison for bank robbery for 15 more years. I have always felt like I hated him, but am finding out that there are still many things to love. After his agreeing to sign adoption papers for my daughter, I found out in a letter that he is dying. My point is, you never know what will happen in life. It is way too short to hate. This is only the first four lines of my poem. I feel so guilty.

I…

I REALLY want to go to this show but currently do not have the money to get to Houston.  It is GA.  I paid 67.00 but willing to go a little lower.  Please reply to this if you are interested.  And, for everyone going, I am jealous....

So, so excited to see Justin play acoustically in March in Manchester... is anyone else going? :)

As a teacher and a single parent, I find myself unable to depend on my ex for regular child support or assistance. Nevertheless, I would never tell him he couldn't see our kids. I wish he would spend more time with them, especially since he doesn't work, but he chooses to spend his time doing other things. That's fine. That's his choice. He has missed out on so much of their lives, though. It is really quite sad. The kids have noticed the choices he has made without me having to say…

I can hear my breath beg me to stand at the very edge of a cliff daring all the years of erosion to finally crumble what saves me from the high velovity madness painted scenery of jagged rocks below.

 To materialize the weightlessness I dream about, the weightlessness I want so badly into reality.

 And for a beautiful moment, I can reach out to touch the blistering heat of the lemon drop…

The poem below got published on High Heels Daily website.  :) 

Cinderella’s Alibi

I like the tick and tock of the walk

Left over right follows the line of chalk.

Hips sway a mother’s lullaby,

Advertising a lover’s potiential sigh.

It’s the power of an elevated view.

At an equal eye level when I shakes hands with you.

Red, yellow, or polka dotted,

Tick-tock, tick-tock I have been spotted.

Stridding long,…

As the years have aged me, like they have all others, I would like to assume I have aged gracefully.  Sitting without my sunglasses on the world before me, it is brighter than it twas in my youth. How do I know this?  Because I find myself squinting profusely in order to obtain some sort of comfortable observation.  Sigh...and as told by the wisest youth keepers, squinting causes wrinkles before their time.  I find some truth to this fortune telling, but I would like a more psychological…

Hey guys, I just wanted to say, THANK YOU.  For being an extended family.. we have our ups and downs, but we love each other..and we have a strong bond.  I am so thankful for that!  Some of you know what I've been through in and out of the blue october community, and you still love me..that is amazing... my own extended family that shares my DNA doesn't even do that half the time.

So I wanted to say thank you all for being here.

Espicially Marci, and Laura, and Penny and…

I'm every kind of person in the world. Though my heads split in two. Wondering whether I am real.. whether I think, feel. I hear every conversation ever spoken. Grasping but a few while others, too wise for this day and age, are not properly heard. I can't even speak sometimes, I can't get the…