Schizophrenia

Comment by Ashley on December 1, 2011 at 12:12am

This is pretty much how I feel a lot of the time...

It's pretty hard to ignore it sometimes...

But I really want to say, Thank you so much for sharing it :)

Comment by laura on December 1, 2011 at 11:10am

I know very well what you've described. I have moments when I think that people, even if they're many miles and states away, know exactly what I'm thinking. I get many times of repetition, and they won't leave me alone. These thoughts can't be taken away by meds. I don't think they'll ever leave. I'm diagnosed with bp and am schizo-affective. I don't see it all as a handicap. I see it as an opportunity to climb into different areas in life that maybe others might not get to see. Someone described all of this to me as if I was a child seeing things for the first time. Sometimes these visions are beautiful. The ugly ones eventually disappear, but I try to take advantage of the creative days.

Comment by Ashley on December 1, 2011 at 12:02pm

Per usual, Laura has amazing things to say :)

Comment by laura on December 1, 2011 at 12:27pm

Let's just forget amazing Ashley! This is after 25 years or more of dealing with this crap. Even as a small child I dealt with it.

Comment by Rebekah Rose on December 3, 2011 at 8:44pm

Thankyou both for even noticing it! Laura, I'm sorry to hear that.  i feel the same way a lot of the time. I've been prescribed medication but I don't like taking them so I'll skip a day every once in a while.. I mean, they help the symptoms but everything else goes downhill. I would have to agree that some are beautiful, I feel like i see or feel things that some people might not get to experience, it's amazing but strange at the same time. I love how positive you are though(: thinking positive really helps, even if I can't sometimes.

Comment by Ashley on December 3, 2011 at 10:46pm

Rebekah, Laura is sooo right!  I think if you stay positive, things might get a lil easier.

I wish I knew what to say...

If you ever wanna talk I'm here for you girl!

:) I used to write  poetry to help me..

Maybe do what Justin does, and write songs...maybe start a band :)

Comment by laura on December 4, 2011 at 1:29pm

Staying positive is hard. I'm taking that away! I'm not positive in the way that I think "oh it'll all be okay." instead I focus on what I do have at that moment, even if it's really uncomfortable and scary. For one, through taking the meds I can be very logical and ask my self questions like, "have voices ever killed me?" No they haven't. I also ask myself if delusions can be fun. Sometimes they are! In other words I make the most of what I have, even if it's "crazy" behavior. If it starts to go overboard I take a pinch more of antipsychotic. Sometimes even that is hard and I want to say to hell with the meds, but I'm always even worse if I skip. Not worth it to me anyway. By being positive I guess I mean take the good out of the bad and realize its better than you think. I could be living under a bridge, staving, etc. that helps too, to put things in perspective. Total rambling sorry!

Comment by Ashley on December 6, 2011 at 8:30am

I had a total break down yesterday... but I reasoned it out, took anti anxiety and POOF.. here I stand..er..sit! :)

Comment by Rebekah Rose on December 11, 2011 at 4:33am

hahah! thanks guys! I understand about the staying positive, it's so hard especially when I scare myself.. I'm sorry about that Ashley, but I'm glad your still sitting today :) it's hard especially in social situations where all the sudden I get overwhelmed and just start thinking that everyones horrible and hurting me but they actually aren't! I tried asking logical questions like you, Laura and its helped so much! I used to just run with what I felt at the moment and get caught up in the negative. Especially lately when enough bad REAL things have been happening I really don't need my head getting in the way as well. I write and try to sort out and explain what happend in my noggin (lol) but it always ends up only making sense to me because its very confusing. But I suppose as long as it helps! This is why I love Blue October and their fans, they're so supportive <3 if you guys need to talk or anything I'm here as well! :)

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