Unexpected visit

I got an unexpected visit from the voices today. I was doing just fine in phlebotomy lab, drawing blood and having a good time, when I just hit an emotional wall and shut down. The desire to hurt myself came rushing back as if it had never left. I am rather glad that with others around me, I have just enough self control to keep it at bay, but now I'm afraid to home. Afraid to have that chance to be alone. I don't know of anyone around here that would understand. So here I am again, alone, scared, trying to keep my head straight. I can only say, "nothing", for so long when people ask me why I suddenly got quiet. I can only be around people for so long. Only so long...